Thoughts: Resolutions, Aging, Lupus, and male "performance"

Yes, I realize it's been quite some time since I've thrown some thoughts out here.  I've been busy?  Plus, I'm not sure who even reads this anyway...but I've had a few ideas running through my head that I thought to include here.  Enjoy.  Or not.

**How common is Lupus?  

I went from never having met an actual person who was diagnosed with it to having met two within the space of a week.  In St. Louis.  It reminds me of the Chicago-area ad campaign Syphilis is BACK, the followup to their highly successful Herpes Gonna Getcha media blast.  Is Lupus common?  Before this particular week, the only thing I knew about Lupus was the Seinfeld episode where Elaine's character has a roommate with it.

Let me be absolutely clear:  I am not poking fun at anyone with Lupus.  From what I've been told, it sounds awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone except perhaps my direst enemies.  Especially as a dancer...

I'm simply commenting on the randomness of never having met a single person with it (maybe I had, they just didn't say anything) until last week, then going on a date with one and maybe a date with another is in the future.  It seems strange...

**Note to all the Low T, Viagra, and other "male enhancement" product commercials...

At what point in US Cultural advancement can we just say "this product is designed to give you a boner"?  I laugh every time I hear the "user testimonials" and there is a kind of nerdy-sounding guy (not in a Big Bang Theory-kind of way, but think Squeak from the movie BASEketball.  In fact, that's exactly who I always imagine is speaking.)  Anyway, this poor fellow is giving his testimonial, and then he comes to the part where he says, "...and I was able to...(pause for dramatic effect)...perform better."  

Perform?  Is that the word we're using now?

So of course, this led me on a strange journey of thought events.  If performing is equal to having an erect penis, then what have I been doing on stage all these years as a dancer?  And do the Academy Awards have a secret secondary meaning?  "And the Academy Award for Best Male Performance in a Documentary goes to...OHHHHHHH...HOLD on...."  

This led to the thought, "What if we gave awards for male performance."  Of course, we already do: they're called the AVN (Adult Video News) Awards.  But (this was just my train of thought) what if male performance was a sport...then "what if certain sports required male performance as part of the event?"  An event like, say, the Male Performance Marathon.  26 miles, and ya gotta...(pause for dramatic effect) "perform better" the entire time.  A very Monty Python-esque event (see: Marathon for Incontinence)

If you saw me laughing hysterically while I was driving on 64/40 in St. Louis, this is what was running through my head.

**Thoughts on being a 37-year old.

Do I really see myself as a 37-year old?  I'm not so sure I do.  I've seen other people I went to high school with walking around the St. Louis area...and they look rough.  I've seen other women my age on a few dating apps...and again, Rocky Mountains in Winter.  Red Wedding kind of rough.  But my perception of myself is still that I look mid-to-late-20's.  Am I completely off base with this?  Plus, with a lot of my friends in their mid-to-late-20's, I feel like my social circles are a generation apart from my chronological age.  So there's that.

**Thoughts on New Year's Resolutions for 2015

I am doing something a bit different this year: I'm starting my NYR on Oct 1, with the goal being to achieve my resolutions BY New Year's Eve.  That's right: I'm giving myself three months to accomplish four goals, and NYE will be a celebration for that achievement (instead of a moment to say, "I gotta fix stuff!" and start out the year on a low note.)

2015 is going to be a great year for me, and here's what I plan to do to get it off on the right foot:

Resolution #1: I will be back under 200 pounds by NYE.

Pretty straightforward stuff.  This means I have about 25 pounds to lose in 3 months.  With my new apt building having a dance studio and gym, and the YMCA across the street, it's time to get back to my pre-stress body.  That's my body before the Last Year of Grad School Thesis Stress Eating, Awful Long Term Relationship Conclusion, and Post Graduation Unemployment stressors.  

I'd love to have some more photos of myself.  I'd love to have more confidence in my looks (so I can perform better hahaha...)  I'd love to just feeeeel better.  

Resolution #2: I will have started/continued 3 recurring traditions by NYE.

One will be Sci-Fi Saturdays (watching a MST3K/Rifftrax movie every Saturday night and having friends over, if they are so inclined.)

I think another is Monday Pizza with my family, although I'll probably be eating salads instead of pizza to achieve Resolution #1.

The third will be a weekly trip to the Missouri Botanic Gardens.  I mean, I renewed my membership.  I love going there.  It helps clear my mind.  So why not?

Resolution #3: I will pay off one credit card by NYE.

This is actually pretty doable.  I won't get into specifics, but I'm just tired of making payments on CC.  So I'm going to eliminate one of them.  I'll do this by putting money from coin sales directly to extra payments until it gets cleared off the books.  Then, after NYE, I can clear another.

Resolution #4: I will finish editing my RWDNY photos by NYE.

This one is actually harder than it sounds.  I have thousands of images...and this was before Nikon replaced my shutter mechanism (which was faulty, so it flung oil all over my sensor, which means EVERY image has about 1,000 little spots on it that need to be removed in Photoshop.)  I will probably start THIS project first...

 

This...

 

This is enough for now.